Chavurah
What is Chavurah?
A chavurah is a group of (usualy no more than) 10-13 couples or families or up to 20 individuals who get together on a regular basis to celebrate Jewish life. The difference between achavurah and any other social group is that all members must make a commitment to the group to meet regularly as a group.
What's the advantage of a Chavurah?
Getting to know people in the context of the whole congregation can be intimidating for some. A chavurah is a terrific way to become acquainted with others who live near you, and have similar interests. Also, through a chavurah we can deepen our connection to one another to the Temple as a whole.
What kinds of activities does a Chavurah do?
It's up to you! Your group can enjoy a Shabbat dinner together , have a Chanukah party, build a Sukkah, even go camping if you're so inclined. Each chavurah determines to types of activities it wants...some involve children, some do not. You can ask our rabbi to attend meeting to discuss a variety of topics related to Jewish life. Your chavurah coordinators and Temple staff are all available to help with programming ideas.
How do you get a Chavurah together?
After returning a completed chavurah application, you will be “matched up” with others who have similar interests. At the first meeting of your new chavurah, we can be there to help break the ice and to explain more about how a chavurah is organized.
What if I don't like everyone in my group?
In any group of that size, there may very well be one or two individuals you can't seem to get to know. The best advice is to stick with it! You'll be surprised what can happen over time. Some of the Temple's chavurot have been together for over 15 years! If it's just not working out though, you can speak to the rabbi about your options.
The Seven C's of Chavurah
- Commitment
It is essential to a Chavurah. Commitment involves each group member taking time, energy, and responsibility in the planning, execution, and participation in the group's activities.
- Cooperation Groups
become cohesive through interaction of all members. Decisions should be reached through consensus, not through default. All participants (including silent ones) should be encouraged to voice their opinions without giving long speeches or monopolizing.
- Communication
For a group to be gratifying to its members, it is important that each member become an effective communicator. This means developing both active listening and speaking skills. Listening involves hearing not only the words used, but observing the manner in which they are said and grasping the meaning behind the words. Speaking involves expressing yourself directly, honestly, and appropriately.
- Conflict
Even with good communication, conflict in a group is unavoidable. Conflict is a necessary part of group process and the working out of conflict leads to a more cohesive group. Differences between members are inevitable, both in personality and in needs, and are a challenge to increasing one's tolerance and flexibility. One cannot expect either to like everybody or to have all of one's needs met all the time. However, differences that are causing resentment and dissatisfaction should be both articulated and worked out.
- Confrontation
When there is a conflict, it is important to confront the situation before it saps energy from the group. There are sereval rules to follow for effective confrontation: Confront directly; do not gossip, complain, or talk about the person outside the group. Confront with care, concern, honesty, and directness. Confront the behavior of the person and be concrete and specific when you are describing what bothers you. Speak for yourself an from yourself. Confront during the appropriate time at a group meeting. Usually an antagonism between two or more people affects the rest of the group and is best worked out in front of the group. Confront with receptivity. Be open to feedback from the person you are confronting. Use your active listening skills.
- Companionship
It is important to know when you join a Chavurah group whether you are seeking or avoiding an extended family situation. If you know your own needs and those of the other members, you can derive the kind of companionship and degree of intimacy that you desire from the group.
- Change
Becoming a cohesive Chavurah is a continuous process. The needs of group members, both individually and collectively will change. Periodically, the group should set aside some time just to review its goals and expectations, to see if they are current meeting the needs of all its members most of the time.